I'm coming to a point where I'm realizing several things. One thing is that my love for her is so deep and genuine, it fills me with a light. I could go on about this, as I was feeling suepr gushy yesterday, but my mind's elsewhere right now. Another thing, though, is how much of a fool this can make me. I completely confound my own desires and reasons in her own desires and terms, and I can't do that any more. They have to be mine, and that has to be enough.